BLADE RAUNER: the first cut

It's been a month since Gov. Rauner suspended $26 million in social services and public health grants. Since then, governor has made it obvious that he plans even more cuts. Gov. Rauner received lots of criticism from the traditionally liberal media, however, there has been no proper insightful analysis of the planned budgetary policies. Mr. Blogo breaks it all down: 

Department of Human Services: Funeral and Burial, suspended $6.9 million: Governor Rauner decided to be proactive considering reports of the pending 2015 Zombie Apocalypse Virus. The less people the state buries, the less Zombies it will have to deal with. 

Immigrant Integration Services, suspended $3.4 million There is no need for that. Everybody loves American values and everybody wants to be like us ... that is U.S. Apple pie, capitalism, and freedom has been working so far. If it ain't broke .... you know the rest.

Welcoming Centers, suspended $191,300 - it's tough but face it! Illinois residents are leaving for other sates.  There is actually no need for the Welcoming Centers. Funds could be better appropriated to fund Goodbye Centers; Illinois - if you could not make a good first impression you might at least leave a good and lasting last impression.

Compulsive Gambling, suspended $406,000, Addiction Prevention $1.6 million, Illinois Tobacco Quit-line: $3.1 million.  This one boils down to simple math: fighting compulsive gambling is not in the state's best interest. Illinois needs more gamblers than ever before, especially if the planned casino in Chicago is to succeed. Alcohol and tobacco consumption is already a huge source of tax revenue; you can cut but you shall not bite that hand that feeds ya.

Mother's Day - Mama Love 500

Happy Mother's Day

The soft and caring touch of mama's love. 

Perfect after mother's day brunch ; great for everyday use for all ages! 

500 gentle sheets in every roll.

                                                                
        

 

Now, for limited time only, you can get extra Mama Love, with Mama Love 555

Get more Mama Love this Mother's Day

                                                             

Breaking Heavens: Sorry, No Vacancy

Disclaimer: If you are a Christian and you've been on your best behavior in hopes of getting to heaven you might consider not reading this post.

           If you are Christian and if you have ever wondered if you can make a cut to join the Son, the Father, and the Holy Spirit in heaven, things just got little complicated today.
           In the book of Revelation apostle John wrote that at the end of time 144,000 servants of God  will be marked with a seal to join God in heaven. 144,000 ! That includes Mother Theresa, few Popes, all the people in the history of man kind who managed to be moral, as well as all the saints. Until today, you stood a chance of making the 144,000 Club. However, today marks a watershed moment in the history of the heavenly kingdom;  the church of Armenia honored and commemorated 1.5 million victims of the Turkish/ Ottoman massacre/genocide by canonizing them.  In other words, heaven gained 1.5 million souls in one wholesale transaction. That means that heaven has roughly 1.35 million surplus of inhabitants. It has not been clarified whether the souls are supposed to make rotations between heaven and purgatory in groups of 144,000 or whether the current inhabitants will have any special treatment. In any case, sorry, there are no vacancies until further notice - if you are Christian that is.

Earth Day: Save the Planet !

Happy Earth Day from George Carlin !

George on: 

- saving endangered species 

- saving the trees, bees, whales, and snails                                 

- saving the planet 

420, Green Jobs, Dope and Change

    Green Jobs for America,  420 Edition 

                Happy 420, for those who celebrate!  Earlier this month president Obama visited Jamaica and payed homage to Bob Marley visiting the museum dedicated to the reggae's favorite son.

4/9/2015 Pres. Obama, Bob Marley's Museum

             If you think the timing of the visit was random, think again. Timing is everything, the old adage says; and who would know the importance of timing better than President Obama himself. Anonymous sources close to the White House decided to clear the smoke surrounding the visit: Mr. Obama brought to Jamaica exploratory committee to conduct field research on Green Jobs in Jamaica.
         Green Jobs Program has been one of the staples of Mr Obama's Presidency. It's also been a constant target of Republican detractors. Who would have thought that the same people who believe Climate Change / Global Warming is a hoax accuse president that his program to fight Climate Change/ Global Warming (aka "the hoax") and stimulate economy is ineffective. The Bureau of Labor Statistics had some encouraging news for March - payroll employment increased and the unemployment rate was unchanged (whatever that means).
         420 is a great opportunity to set the record straight, and clear the smoke. Green Jobs have been the fastest growing sector of the U.S. economy/ labor force. Ever since President Obama was sworn New Jersey, Arizona, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New York, and Georgia legalized medical cannabis; Washington, Colorado, Alaska, and Oregon legalized recreational marijuana, and Maryland decriminalized cannabis. Recently, even canines start enjoying the healing properties of cannabis (#canines4cannabis). Every state that legalized medical/recreational marijuna created countless jobs; growers, sellers, transporters, law enforcers, department of revenue workers, marijuana testers (yes, marijuana testers ; simply hired), as well as increasing jobs and revenue in food and service industry (sales of fast/junk food, snacks) .
          In other words, whatever you may hear "on the credible news", Green Jobs are alive and well.  President knows it and supports it - especially after visiting Jamaica. Show your support as well.

Disclaimer: Mr Blogo does not condemn nor condone use of cannabis ; please follow your local laws and customs. Smoke responsibly, munch healthy!  

Ready or Not, here Hillary Comes: Bill-ion dollar baby, million dollar maybe

            Complicated, heart breaking story of an ambitious, sensitive woman and her relationship with Bills. Bill C. broke her heart and betrayed her in front of the entire nation. Now, Bill M. publicly denies her $1 million of moral support. 

           Bills have failed her in the past, but now, she needs bills more than ever before; especially the large $100 bills - and roughly $2.7 Bill-ion to fulfill her destiny and get her revenge! 

Million Dollar? Maybe - Billion Dollar Lady 

Just two days ago it was announced that the announcement officially announcing Hillary Clinton's bid for the white house will be given on 4/12.  On 4/10 Bill Maher made announcement of his own "Hillary Clinton has my vote but she's not getting a million dollar check"; unlike Mr Obama who got both. Will that deter Hillary from entering the contest? You will find out tomorrow when she announces that she is ready! Real cliffhanger. Spoiler Alert: anonymous sources report that she is ready and that she will run! According to some estimates the 2016 presidential campaign is expected to come with a record high price-tag of $5 billion. Henceforth, the one million dollar Bill (Maher, not Clinton) proudly and defiantly denies Ms Clinton will make  "whopping" 0.02% of a difference in the overall fundraising. Koch brothers are readying $889 million for the 2016 political campaign "buck" swinging contest. Ready, $et, go! Tomorrow Hillary Clinton will announce her bid for the presidency - bid like ... ebay bid. Historically, candidate with more money wins the White House. Overall money is the best predictor of who wins elections in the US - better than any other social, economic, and statistical indicator. How good is money in predicting electoral outcomes? 91% kinda good. In 2010, the Supreme Court of the U.S. upgraded "We the People ..." to the "We the People: Version 2.0". According to the court's ruling in the Citizens United "corporations are people too." Ever since 2010 we the people includes "the people" people and "the corporations" people - both with inalienable right to donate money to political campaigns. In April 2014 the SCOTUS "removed the cap on the total amount of money donors can contribute to candidates and parties in each election" (donors=  "The People Version 2.0"). It is a great news for campaign financing. In 2016 money has a chance of becoming even better predictor of electoral success! Actually, the entire electoral process can be made more efficient and streamlined by posting public offices on e-bay - going to the highest bidder! With predicted $5 billion 2016 elections American democracy enters the big time: there's room for big money, big business, big ambitions, super pacs, and super egos.  There must certainly be some room left for the little people.

Rahm "Rahmbo" Emanuel Returns as "Mayor Rahmbo"

"You can run but you can't runoff!" Rahm Emanuel was reelected as the mayor of Chicago on 4/7/2015 defeating Jesus "Chuy" Garcia. Mayor Rahmbo conquered 55.7% of the votes. 

Where are they now? Birthers Edition

On March 23, 2015 Sen. Cruz announced his candidacy for the office of

 the President of the United States of America. 

             

Rafael Edward Cruz
U.S. Senator, January 3, 2013 to Present    
born December 22, 1970 in Calgary, Alberta, Canada      

Barack Hussein Obama
44th President of the U.S.
born August 4, 1961 in Honolulu, HI, U.S.A. 

 

The brave men and women of the U.S. who valiantly defended Article II, Section 1, Clause 5 of the U.S. Constitution (the Natural Born Citizen Clause) during 2008 and 2012 presidential campaigns have been missing in action. Birthers have remained silent since Sen. Cruz announced his candidacy. There are growing concerns among the Truthers and other civic organizations that Birthers have been detained in CIA black sites and secret domestic detention camps, or were eliminated by the ruling class of Lizards. Help us locate the guardians of the U.S. Constitution !  

                                     

              

Wiktionary: birther (plural birthers)

1.        One who gives birth 
2. (slang, pejorative, US politics) A believer in one or more conspiracy theories, holding that President Barack Obama is not a "natural born" citizen of the United States, and therefore ineligible for the presidency.

"You've Got Mail -Gate"

Instant Classic! Masterpiece "You've Got Mail-Gate" Gen. David Petraeus and Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton deliver best performances to date! 

Good Deal? Bad Deal? Deal or No Deal?

When going gets tough,when dealing with the deal gets out of hand, there is one man and one place to settle the differences - winner takes all. 

Howie Mandel, Ayatollah Khamenei, President Barack Obama, & PM Benjamin Netanyahu

Milton: Tested Formula for Killing 99%

Milton: Tested Formula for Killing 99%

You know all too well that being 1% is not easy. Outsourcing, reorganizing, maximizing profits, and hitting goals; it's all hard and dirty work. On regular basis you shake hands with investors, business partners, and politicians; at times you even have to shake hands with 99%. Protect yourself ! Only Milton prevents spreading the sense of guilt and compassion. It is also clinically proven to systematically kill the 99% Virus. Protect yourself and don't bring any common germs home to your wife and children. 

Milton Surface Wipes: Perfect for corner office      
- Effective in removing fingermarks of slimy politicians and businesspersons
- Removes hard to clean sweat, tears, and blood left on your desk by your employees

Note: Use on glass and mirror surfaces  to remove traces of cocaine 

“Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself.”
Milton Friedman

Get a moth supply of Milton sanitizing products with a purchase of "Capitalism and Freedom"

“There's no such thing as a free lunch.”
― Milton Friedman

Milton has been the official hand sanitizer of Goldman Sachs and NYSE

Sticks and Stones: Carry a Big Stick and Speak Softly (in German)

Sticks and stones: Stick Diplomacy

Last week, leaders of Ukraine, Germany and France met with Mr Putin to negotiate cease fire in the Ukraine. The EU delegation, led by Ms Merkel, flexed its muscles and the cease fire agreement was signed. Yet, as of today, there is still no peace in Ukraine. Mr. Putin must finally realize that there will be serious consequences for defying the West.  By now, Mr Putin should be aware that the all-mighty EU armies are getting ready for a showdown and they do mean business! Germans, for instance, are getting ready for a post-nuclear/ post-apocalyptic warfare scenario. Even when the electronics and technology becomes obsolete, have no worries : German soldiers will be prepared. German army has already started training and equipping its soldiers with sticks. Sticks and stones will break your bones Mr Putin, and your words will never hurt us. Germany is adopting Roosevelt's BIG STICK diplomacy: Speak softly and carry a big stick, literally. But how do you speak softly in German? Ich ich weiß nicht; even Holzstab, "wooden stick" in German sounds pretty intimidating. Good job Frau Merkel. 

                                    http://www.washingtonpost.com/…/germanys-army-is-so-under…/…